Self love and affirmation: how you attract love by loving yourself.

“What you think you become. What you feel you attract. What you imagine you create”~Buddha

Every time someone would pay me a compliment, I would respond with something negative. I wasn’t doing it because I despised myself, I was doing it because I was uncomfortable with the attention that came with compliments.

Genuine compliments meant someone actually took time to look and notice and appreciate. Sounds like music to most people but to me, it was the worst part of any conversation. I thought if they notice one nice thing, then they’ll also notice the other things that aren’t so great about me.

To avoid this kind of thing from happening, I would keep to myself and when in a public place, talk to a few selected people and blamed it all on being an introvert.

What I didn’t realise is that by doing so, I was blocking what turned out to be some nicest people and best relationships I ever had.

I knew I had it bad, when my partner used to tell me something nice and I got mad because I thought I was being mocked. I would then get defensive and this would always lead to a senseless argument.

My biggest problem wasn’t that I was an introvert. It was the way I spoke to myself and about myself. I had unconsciously developed a habit of saying negative things about myself and concentrated on the things I didn’t like, overlooking the qualities that made me stand out.

In one therapy session, i was asked to say something positive about myself every time I looked in the mirror and whenever someone paid me a compliment I’d just say ‘thank you’. Sounds easy right? Wrong. It wasn’t easy because, to find something positive I had to actually see myself and to say thank you, I had to listen to compliments.

It took a while and it was a process but I finally made it a habit.

I then quickly realised that having a positive attitude towards ones self, led to people also seeing you in a positive light.

You see, we are the sole representatives of ourselves and we attract what we think.

What I’m trying to say is this, the only way to genuinely accept what comes from the outside, is to work on the inside. You can’t accept love if you don’t love yourself. Trying to do that, you are going to overwhelm yourself with lots of self-doubt which will then be projected to others. Then you’ll become that negative person that people will want to let go.

Read about : letting toxic relationships and people go.

Don’t give negative thoughts the power to define who you are. Find yourself and love who you are, by doing that, you will then attract your tribe.

Thanks for stopping by.


  1. I’ve done the mirror thing – but I found it worked better when I really looked deeply in my eyes and smiled too. It’s as if a small seed germinates and grows. Receiving compliments was hard for me until I realised that I could respond by saying ‘thank you that was kind of you’ it’s givingthem something back. And I also discovered the joy of complimenting others -it’s wonderful you can see people change from grumpy to smiley. Try it you’ll find it’s great for feeling good about yourself

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s